Four more

I had another fill appointment on Wed 9/15 and I am happy to report I am 4 more lbs down. Yes it is 4 lbs but come on when is this really gonna kick in?!? He told me last appointment that probably one more fill and I would be at my "sweet" spot. Well, he said that again this appointment. I just know i am ready for this to start kicking in and not be trickling like it is. I know I know.... the blogs I follow of banders it doesn't just come off over night takes on avg a year and yes yes I know I did not put it on over night but still!!!! AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH
      I have been doing good on riding the bike... but it doesn't really seem to be helping my hip like I thought it was at first. I can't figure out what DOES help!!!! But it is really old.
     I have been doing good at getting my H2O in this week as well, and since my fill I have gone back to concentrating on my protein. Went back to at least 1 protein shake a day and took cottage cheese to work yesterday. This week I am going to boil some eggs and take those to work for breakfast/morning snack. I really don't eat breakfast because i am usually too tight in the am but around 10:30ish I am usually able to eat something. I either eat a yogurt, cottage cheese or oatmeal.
    I am feeling bummed and out of sorts lately. Nothing seems to be going right. Work has been crazy busy since we bought out Citi auto. Working 6 days a week is no fun and the phones are insane and what is worse..... I don't have the answers to help my people. I try to get them but most of the time the peeps I report to don't have the answers either. It is crazy to me how this whole thing went down. On a personal level things are whacky between Pat and I. I just don't think I am really the person he wants me to be. I am not perfect I make mistakes, I get upset  but I feel like he would rather be anywhere but with me and when we are together I seem to do something that upsets him ?!?
     I feel like I don't really see Jojo and I am not doing a very good job at being a mom to him lately. Since my surgery I don't cook as much. I feel bad for him. It is even harder when he won't eat left overs. Not so easy to cook for 2 people and in a way I am just cooking for 1. I am trying ....
     I JUST FEEL LIKE I AM FAILING AT EVERYTHING LATELY

Something weird that just hit me

I am looking at my last post and glance over at the blogs I follow..... Lapband blogs and baking/cooking blogs hhhhhmmmmmmm wonder what that is all about ?!? LOL I don't want to give up my cooking and baking because I have had surgery. That is something that I have always enjoyed. I just thought it was funny and I am sure someone looking in would think  " yeah that fat chic is never gonna loose weight....she is too into food "

Bike

I am very proud of myself. I rode my bike Friday, Saturday and Monday :) It still hurts when my leg gets to the full extension position but that is life I guess. I do think my hip is a little better or maybe that is wishful thinking on my part. I am planning to ride again tonight as well!!!!! Hopefully this will not only help my hip but get me moving and help get the lbs off a little faster. I seemed to have slowed down. I know they want you to loose on average 1-2lbs a week and I was ahead of the game but I don't want to slow down. I kinda feel stuck and going nowhere at the moment. I kinda feel like I have lost some this month by the way my clothes are fitting but it is that time of the month and I am feeling a little bloated the last couple of days. I don't way in between Dr appointments because when I did I just got frustrated. So my next fill appointment is the 15th of this month and I guess we will find out then.
      On a good note I have been able to wear some shirts that I haven't been able to wear in years and a couple of pairs of crop pants. It still amazes me how sizes fluctuate so much.... how can I wear a size X in one brand but in brand B I wear a size Z ?!?!? On top right now I am anywhere between a 16 or 20 WHAT ?!?!? How is that ?!?!?! makes no sense. On the bottom I am a little closer I am wearing an 18 or a 20 however my co-workers keep telling me I need to get some new clothes especially pants because the ones I am wearing are too big. I would like to get some new clothes but I don't see the point in going out and spending $ on something that I am not going to be able to wear for that long...so there in lies the problem.  I had one person tell me that I didn't look like I should be in plus sizes anymore but i regular...... I told her to put down the crack pipe.... I am NO WAY NEAR THAT!!!! and won't be anytime soon. She said I should at least go try them on..... no thanks been there done that MANY times and that experience is not something that I care to repeat. I HATE shopping. Maybe when I loose the weight I will feel differently but right now it does nothing but depress me.  I hope by this time next year I will be enjoying it again.... we'll see

My hair

It has happened. I am loosing my hair. I have noticed for awhile now when I comb the conditioner thru my hair in the shower I am having to clean out the comb way more frequently than normal. My hair started thinning several years ago. It really doesn't need any help.  I was taking Biotin for awhile some people say that helps and some say no..... I figure it couldn't hurt. I need to up my protein as well. I have not been eating as much as I should and I know this can effect my hair. I am afraid to color it so my red is fading.
    I have also noticed that the texture has changed. I have some natural curls and instead of curling lately it just seems to friz. I know they say this phase doesn't last for long but I am already ready for it to move on! My hair and my eyes were my favorite feature. Now my hair is nothing of what it was and my eyes have to  wear glasses which distracts from them and they are wrinkled.

The hip

50+ lbs down and the hip is still giving me problems. I really thought by now it would be better but I swear it is worse. I have not  been riding the bike or doing the Wii. The AC has been jacked up and it has just been too dang hot. Texas summers are a killer and with a jacked up AC NOT fun. I have gotten on the bike several times since it has been fixed. I need to start getting on it 3 days a week. It hurts to ride ..... when my leg gets to the full extension point. It doesn't hurt as bad as walking though and I have to start somewhere. I did ride it today. I am just ready to have no pain when I walk and be normal!!! My house is a wreck, my yard looks like a jungle and it kills me to go to the grocery store!!! When is this gonna end ?!?!

Long needed update

OK so it has been forever since I posted anything.... I feel like life in general has just swept me up and i have not been paying attention to a lot of things lately. So I will try and do better.
At my last fill I had only lost 1lb that was rather disappointing. I still do not have good restriction but maybe with the next fill. I do feel more restriction now than I have but I can still pretty much eat everything just smaller quantities and i have to slow down and chew chew chew. I think I posted about my first stuck episode in a previous post. I have not had any more but have come close a couple of times. One was last week. Work has been crazy busy and my mngr has been MIA and gone most of the time so it is just me left to hold down the fort. It was almost 2:00pm and I had not eaten anything yet that day. So I shoved down a handful of CheeseIts and then handful #2. Well just about the time I got up to leave my desk to head for the conference room it hit me like a ton of bricks!!!! I was afraid I wasn't gonna make it to the conference room before something came back up. As soon as I hit the door ( and luckily I was the first to arrive ) I grabbed the trashcan. I sat down and prayed to the Cheese IT gods to just go down!!! About that time one of my team members Lupe came in. She asked me if I was ok and I couldn't even talk!!!!! I sat there with my head in the trashcan swallowing for what seemed like forever but just as people started coming in for the meeting it went down.  I put the trashcan down under the conference table like nothing had happened. Some of my co-workers know I have had surgery but I don't go around shouting about it. But it isn't anything I am going to hide or lie about either. My 2nd stuck episode occurred over pizza. I can eat Dominos extra thin and crispy pizza. I went to long and let myself get too hungry and started eating way to fast and not chewing good enough!!!! this is NOT a good combo especially when you are banded. So I say there in horrible pain until it went down.  I have got to learn TO SLOW DOWN AND CHEW CHEW CHEW !!!